Money is a tricky enough subject when it comes to relationships. When there’s debt involved, either for one or both of you, things can get even more challenging. If you’re just starting out in a new relationship or taking a look at your finances after some time together, here’s how to successfully approach and manage debt in your relationship.

Have open, honest discussions as early as possible

Transparency, honesty and trust are essential to any healthy relationship – even more so when it comes to money. Any financial concerns or red flags should be raised as early as possible in the relationship to avoid dramatic revelations down the line.

Discuss any outstanding debts, your income levels, financial commitments and spending habits to give each other a well-rounded view of your relationship from a money perspective. 

Having a clear understanding of your debts and financial plans allows you both to make changes for the better. Hiding things only takes away your freedom to do that. Be open with each other from the start and aim for a better financial future.

Address debt concerns together

Whether one or both of your has debt to pay off, take a joint approach to manage and clear it. The sooner you’re debt-free, the sooner you’ll both be able to commit more money to your future ambitions.

You don’t have to pay off your partner’s debt directly, but you can assist them in other ways. Support them by sticking to more healthy money habits, such as budgeting their money or cutting down on non-essential spending.

If you have combined debt, consider ways to make managing it easier. Options like debt consolidation loans combine various debts to give you one balance to pay off rather than several. Think about your long-term financial goals and work towards them together.

Set clear financial boundaries

Conflicts over money in relationships often come from unclear expectations and boundaries. Take time to understand each other’s financial priorities, whether it be saving for a house or clearing existing debts. This should help to align your habits and work towards both personal and shared goals.

Neither of you should try to control the other’s spending. Let’s be clear. But clearing debt takes a measured approach and commitment from both sides. Establishing expectations and outlining the path to becoming debt-free should be at the forefront of your minds.

Seek support if needed

If you’re finding it hard to clear debt, there are support services and helpful resources out there. Charities like StepChange offer free, expert debt advice and can point you in the direction of other services such as debt management plans.

You can also speak to the companies or organisations you owe to see if there are ways they can help you. Try to avoid burying your head in the sand – you’ll only end up deeper in than you were before.