Being married to a military spouse isn’t always easy, but making the most of your time together is one of the best ways to keep your relationship afloat. To find out how, read on…
If you’re married to a military spouse, you know how hard it can be to keep the romance going when your partner is deployed thousands of miles overseas. It’s important to make the most of your time together, and travelling the world is the best way to do that.
By speaking to a conveyancing solicitors who specialise in military law, you can build a life together overseas. That said, travelling in this way can take its toll, leaving you unable to build solid roots anywhere. So, instead, why not travel together in between deployments?
In this post, we’re going to briefly touch on what it’s like to be a military spouse and give you some reasons why you should travel with them. We’ll then give you some tips on travelling the world with your military spouse to help keep your relationship alive.
What Are Some of the Issues with Being Married to a Military Spouse?
It’s not always easy being married to someone in the military. To help you understand that you’re not alone, and that you can fix some of these issues by travelling the world, here are some of the common issues with being married to a military spouse:
- Your partner’s first deployment is a brutal shock to the system and each deployment after that can turn you into a bag of nerves. Deployments never get any easier and they can lead to ‘deployment separation’.
- If you move to where your spouse is being stationed, it could lead to a lot of moving around and inability to make friends.
- You’ll spend most of your time unemployed or underemployed especially if you have kids to raise.
- A homecoming can feel like going on a blind date, starting with the honeymoon phase before getting awkward.
- You have to discuss wills, funerals and other possible mortality issues more often and way earlier than you’d like to discuss them.
- You’ll get used to being on your own, which might make it hard for you to connect with your partner when they finally come home.
These issues are experienced by most military spouses, so it’s important to work on your relationship when you finally get your partner home.
Why You Should Travel with Your Military Spouse
Taking all the above issues into account, we’re going to give you some reasons why you should consider travelling the world with your military spouse.
Brings you closer together
As we pointed out in the last section, being away from your partner for so long allows you to drift apart. So, in the time you have together, you want to build strong, long-lasting memories to last you both through the next deployment.
It’s obviously important to spend time with each other at home, especially if you have kids, but some of that time could easily be dedicated to travelling. It also gives you time to get to know each other again, find out what the other person likes or dislikes, and remind you of why you got together in the first place.
Remind them what travelling can be
Your military spouse will have spent a lot of time travelling the world already, but not in the most favourable circumstances. Stopping over in a country on the way to or from the sandbox doesn’t mean you’ve ‘travelled to Germany’. Equally, curfews, shore patrols, out of bounds areas and the like don’t exactly make for the best holidays.
Your partner might be reluctant to do it at first, after all the travelling they’ve already done. However, if you assure them it will be different and make sure you plan an amazing time, you can really change the way they view it.
Also, being the person who shows them this, and takes their minds off the military for a while, is not a bad position to be in.
Make you feel more comfortable about them being away all the time
When your military spouse is deployed, you probably worry about them a lot. They’re in another country, one that doesn’t have the same values as yours or the same rules and your mind races with all the things that could go wrong.
If you visit some of these places, you’ll get a better picture of what life is like there and how dangerous they are. Most of the time, the fear of something is worse than the thing itself, so these trips can only lessen your worry.
Also, seeing the way your partner carries themselves in foreign countries and how easy it is for them will help you realise that they know what they’re doing. You should see they’re in less trouble when they’re deployed than you previously thought.
Tips for Travelling with Your Military Spouse
Now that we’ve covered what it’s like to be married to someone in the military and how travelling the world can help bring you together, it’s time to give you some tips for doing it.
1. Decide on a travel style
What kind of travelling do you and your military spouse like? Would you rather take things as they come, plan an itinerary down to the minute, or list a bunch of sights you want to see but take it slowly?
If you see eye to eye on this, then it’s a no-brainer. If you have opposite styles, you’ll have to reach a compromise before you head off together. One person can schedule in all the things they want to do, but make sure to plan some blocks in there to wander and explore.
2. Talk about money
Finances are a point of friction for couples in general, but especially when they go on holiday. Agree in advance on how much you’re going to spend but don’t be too tight with it; plan an allowance for indulgences.
All you need to do is sit down beforehand, work out how much food, lodging, transportation and the main entertainment you plan to experience cost, and write up a budget. Once you have that set, you’ll have an idea of how much money you have left to spend on spontaneous activities.
3. Don’t be afraid to do your own thing
Obviously, the whole point of the trip is to connect with each other more, but it’s not the best idea to spend every waking second with each other. Doing something the other person doesn’t want to do isn’t a failure. It just gives you a breather and something to talk about when you come back together.
Also, you likely spend a lot of time apart from your military spouse so going from no time to all the time can be a bit jarring. It’s best to ease into it over time.
4. Take lots of pictures
If you don’t have a decent camera, buy one. There’s nothing worse than going to a crazy, fun, or beautiful place and taking selfies or poor photos.
You want as many memories with your spouse as possible, and taking photos is one of the best ways to do that. You don’t have as much time together as you’d probably like, so make it count and make it memorable.
5. Manage your arguments
Our final tip is for you to try your best to manage your arguments. We’ve all been on trips that have been ruined by arguing and fighting, most of which are just caused by the stresses of travelling.
Your plans might not go the way you expected but you have to be ready with a plan B and an open mind.
Try to remember when you and your partner first started dating and you were on your best behaviour, and act that way. Anything that’s happened between you in the past, any resentments you have about them being in the military, etc. are behind you. You’re both there to work on your relationship so make it count.
Is This Actually a Good Idea?
In this post, we’ve managed to discuss what the common issues are with having a military spouse, how travelling the world could help, and shared some tips on how to make the whole thing play out successfully.
There’s only one way to find out if travelling with your military spouse is a good idea. Book a trip, try your best to follow the tips we’ve shared with you here and try to have a good time.
Thank you for reading this post, and good luck on your travels.
Thank you to Hannah for writing this post…